Chinese New Year - Funny/Dark

12 Cookies containing Year of the Horse 2026 — Adult Fortunes
 
1. The Horse runs free in 2026. So do your bad habits. Congrats.
 
2. This is your year to chase pleasure. Responsibility will chase you back.
 
3. The Horse symbolizes stamina. You’ll need it—for poor decisions.
 
4. 2026 brings passion, speed, and questionable late-night texts.
 
5. Run boldly into the Year of the Horse. Pants optional. Consequences not.
 
6. The Horse thrives on freedom. Your therapist will hear about it.
 
7. This year favors bold moves. Especially the ones you’ll regret tomorrow.
 
8. The Horse charges ahead in 2026. Mostly fueled by caffeine, spite, and horniness.
 
9. Independence is your theme this year. So is emotional unavailability.
 
10. Hard work pays off in 2026. So does shameless indulgence. Choose wisely.
 
11. The Horse doesn’t overthink. You should try that. After one more drink.
 
12. Run fast this year. Your past mistakes are gaining ground.
 
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